2008 BMW 550i review

For several years now I’ve been concerned about BMW. I’ve been concerned that they don’t ‘get it’ anymore. I’ve watched in dismay as they have made their cars heavier, more strange looking, and deleted items that everyone takes for granted. Things, for example, like a temperature gauge and an oil dipstick. While maybe not the dumbest thing I’ve ever seen, that still ranks high on the retardo-meter. In place of the deleted items, they’ve put things in like iDrive. No one asked for it, and no one likes it. It’s sad. Their maintenance intervals regularly run a shockingly 10,000 miles or more; a move, in my opinion, to make it so they don’t have to pay out as often now that they throw in the first four years or 50k miles of maintenance free.

While I have always followed BMW with great interest, over the past couple of years my interest has waned. A number of times I’ve been offered the opportunity to test some of their newer models. More times than in the past I’ve been greatly disappointed. Watch the BMW category on this site as I get more reviews up and you’ll see what I mean. (BMW category link) I had resigned myself to the fact that they just don’t build ‘em like they used to. And maybe, just maybe, they never would again.

Last year, Car and Driver did a comparison test of midsize, luxury sedans where the 550i was dethroned by the Infiniti M45. You can see my review here of the M45. I thought to myself that if the M45 is that bad and it won, the 550i must just be HORRID. Recently I had the opportunity to test the 550i for myself. I didn’t really want to. I wasn’t even excited about it. In fact, I was so uninterested that I almost blew off my chance to do so.

And that would have been a mistake of grave proportions.

It has taken me a long time to accept the Banglized 5-series. I’ve just not been a fan at all. Sitting in them at the auto show does nothing to get me excited about the car. It’s ok; the inside doesn't reflect what the price tag suggests should be there. The feel is definitely German, and screams that the designers had other priorities than making a truly nice interior.

The one I sampled was a 550i Sport package car. It had an aggressive look. Sitting in the interior raised the same question marks over my head that sitting in it every other time had done. As I adjusted the seat to fit me, I began to realize just how extraordinary the seats were. They hug your body in all the right places. They cradle you perfectly. The sport seats in this one suggest that you will need them, similar to the feel you get when getting into a fast roller coaster. All the controls were in easy reach. The shifter (auto trans in this example) had changed shapes since my last visit. You pushed it different ways than normal to call up reverse or drive. All I cared about was pulling it to the left and ordering up sport mode, thereby changing gear selection to manual control using paddles on the steering wheel.

Get it out on the road, crack open the throttle, and the 550i tears away from the line like an angry bulldog. The V8 roars and builds urgency as it climbs to the redline. Pull the paddle shifter towards you to upshift, and the shift happens as close to instantly as can be measured. The tach instantly snaps back a few thousand RPM. I couldn’t believe it. Could an automatic be this responsive? So I downshifted it. This time the tach instantly shot up a few thousand RPM. Downshifting included a throttle blip for an almost seamless gear change. I started chuckling, not believing what I was seeing. I shifted back and forth, up and down all six gears, just completely mesmerized at how well BMW’s transmission responded to inputs. It literally is the BEST automatic transmission I have EVER used. It is so good in fact, this is the transmission I would buy for this car – and I’m saying this as a firm believer that the only good transmission is the one you shift for yourself.

But I’m getting ahead of myself here.

I took it towards a road I know to be a fantastic test for handling. The 550i aced through this road and had reserves of potential. It feels like it will never misstep. Even when I dived into a low speed corner hard enough to attract the attention of the ever-watchful stability system, it allowed a little bit of shenanigans before intervening. Power is effortless and a flick of your right foot away. Start carving curves and you can modulate everything in perfect proportion to ever-changing road conditions. Gas, steering, braking - every control is so smooth and so linear, you can dial in the appropriate amount of input at all times. Note that this car had the regular steering setup, not the active one that is said to reduce feel.

Amazingly too it does all of this without beating you up at all. The ride is calm and compliant. Exterior noise is kept to a minimum. Just enough gets in to tell you what is happening outside the car. Everything the 5 Series does is done to give you tactile information so you know how to proceed. When you’re not hotrodding the engine and transmission, it’s just as docile as a goldfish. It doesn’t egg you on to explore its limits, but it will happily play if YOU choose to. If you haul a family or use your car for business, you can still impress them with the badge and the comfort level. No one else has to know what lurks in the soul of this car unless you want them to.

Yes, the interior isn’t the flashiest, but it has the toys you need. Yes, other makes and models offer more gadgets. Yes, the cupholders look like an afterthought, similar to what you could get in 1993. Yes, iDrive still sucks, but if it’s entertainment you’re looking for in your ride just use the 550i’s mechanical components to entertain yourself. Room for all is adequate. Not spacious, but adequate. Same story with the trunk.

When taken as a whole, this car is a game-changer. No doubt about it. It is the perfect embodiment of what a sports sedan should be. Comfortable enough to be useful, playful enough to induce grins, fun enough to potentially lose your license. It is the perfect combination of everything. Is it expensive? Heck yea it’s expensive! Do you know why? For the same reason filet mignon costs more than a McDonald’s cheeseburger. Because it’s worth it. Because it’s what all sport sedans should aspire to. It’s at the top of its game, the king of the hill. Yes, it is THAT GOOD. It shows what happens when instead of saying a product is “good enough”, the engineers put just a little bit more into development and make it the absolute best that it can be.

When Pontiac released their G8 GT (review here), Bob Lutz stood up in front of God and the world and called it a 5-Series at $20k cheaper. I laughed before I drove the 550i. Now I roll on the floor in heaving convulsions everytime I think about it. He claims to be a "car guy". Has he DRIVEN this car? He couldn’t possibly have. The sad thing is, he’s doing a true disservice to the G8 by even mentioning the 5 Series in the same breath. Then what’s with Car and Driver saying the M45 beats the 550i? I just can’t see it. I truly can’t. I don’t know what they were smoking - these cars are not even from the same planet. The M45 is more of a joke to the 550i than the G8 is. Come on, no one really believes that the G8 is going to go head-to-head with the 550i, unless you’re the one trying to convince your friends that your G8 purchase was a smart financial decision because you got it with employee pricing. The M45 is a direct competitor, and a sorry one at that. Drive them all, and you’ll know why too. I’ve driven faster cars, I’ve driven cars that handle better, I’ve driven more luxurious cars, but I have NEVER driven one that got the balance perfect in any and all circumstances. Paper specs are meaningless for cars. You can armchair-jockey stacks of reviews and test reports all day long, but you’ll never really know until you’re behind the wheel. That’s a fact.

The 550i Sport must be infused with alien DNA. That’s the only possible explanation for the goodness of this car. It is a machine sent back through time to dominate the sport sedan category as we now know it. Whether you are commuting, conducting business, tearing up the road, or using it for illegal activities, this car performs admirably in any and all situations. Don’t believe me? Try one on for yourself.

Photos property of BMW